1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,500 -THE WORD ON THIS TEAM IS THAT 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,500 THEY'RE STRONG OFF TACKLE, BUT 3 00:00:05,542 --> 00:00:07,172 VULNERABLE UP THE MIDDLE. 4 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:10,748 [CELL PHONE VIBRATING] 5 00:00:10,792 --> 00:00:12,712 -WOW. 6 00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:17,460 -NOW, I THINK OUR BEST OPTION 7 00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:17,460 IS TO BLITZ EARLY AND OFTEN, 8 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:18,830 BRING THE FIGHT TO THEM. 9 00:00:18,875 --> 00:00:19,665 NOW WHAT-- 10 00:00:19,709 --> 00:00:22,379 [CELL PHONE VIBRATING] 11 00:00:22,417 --> 00:00:24,577 IS THAT DEBRA? 12 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,745 -YEAH 13 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,502 -IS SHE TEXTING YOU NAKED 14 00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,502 PICTURES AGAIN? 15 00:00:27,542 --> 00:00:28,582 -MAYBE. 16 00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:30,535 -DO YOU WANT US TO GIVE 17 00:00:28,625 --> 00:00:30,535 YOU A MINUTE? 18 00:00:30,583 --> 00:00:31,833 -YEAH, JUST A MINUTE. 19 00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,455 I JUST GOT THIS PHONE. 20 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:39,880 WHERE'S THE CAMERA? 21 00:00:39,917 --> 00:00:41,247 -IT'S, UH, RIGHT THERE. 22 00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:42,541 -AH. 23 00:00:44,542 --> 00:00:45,422 LIKE THIS? 24 00:00:45,458 --> 00:00:46,828 -YEAH. 25 00:00:46,875 --> 00:00:48,955 JUST DON'T GET YOU FACE 26 00:00:46,875 --> 00:00:48,955 IN THE PICTURE, MARTY. 27 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,710 THIS NEW TECHNOLOGY 28 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,710 CAN BE DANGEROUS. 29 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,000 -I GOT YOU. 30 00:01:00,041 --> 00:01:01,381 -OH, NO. 31 00:01:01,417 --> 00:01:02,537 WHAT? 32 00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:04,883 HEY, GUYS, I THINK SOMEBODY 33 00:01:02,583 --> 00:01:04,883 JUST SENT ME 34 00:01:04,917 --> 00:01:06,127 A PICTURE OF THEIR-- 35 00:01:20,834 --> 00:01:23,834 OH, MY GOD. 36 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,995 [ REV THEORY'S "HELL YEAH" 37 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,995 PLAYS ] 38 00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:27,251 CAN YOU FEEL THAT? 39 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,921 YOU BETTER HOLD ON. 40 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,079 THIS ONE'S ABOUT TO GET BUMPY. 41 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,500 ♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪ 42 00:01:36,834 --> 00:01:37,834 ♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪ 43 00:01:37,875 --> 00:01:38,745 ♪ HELL, YEAH ♪ 44 00:01:38,792 --> 00:01:40,712 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪ 45 00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:42,170 ♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪ 46 00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:44,418 ♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪ 47 00:01:44,458 --> 00:01:45,958 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪ 48 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,500 ♪ GIVE ME A "HELL" ♪ 49 00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:50,174 ♪ GIVE ME A "YEAH" ♪ 50 00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,498 ♪ STAND UP RIGHT NOW ♪ 51 00:02:07,875 --> 00:02:09,325 -HI. 52 00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:10,285 I DON'T BELIEVE WE'VE 53 00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:10,285 MET BEFORE. 54 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:12,383 I'M ALEX MORAN. 55 00:02:12,417 --> 00:02:15,287 -ANYWAYS, AS I WAS 56 00:02:12,417 --> 00:02:15,287 SAYING, YESTERDAY WHEN WE 57 00:02:12,417 --> 00:02:15,287 WERE IN THE FIELD-- 58 00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:18,213 -I'M THE STARTING QUARTERBACK ON 59 00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:18,213 THE FOOTBALL TEAM SO, UH-- 60 00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:21,630 -LOOK, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND 61 00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:21,630 I'M NOT INTERESTED IN BEING 62 00:02:21,667 --> 00:02:23,037 ONE OF YOUR CONQUESTS. 63 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:24,633 I THINK I'M WORTH A LITTLE MORE 64 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:24,633 THAN A QUICK BANG WITH 65 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:27,247 SOME FOOTBALL PLAYER. 66 00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:30,711 -WHO SAID I WAS QUICK? 67 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,920 -YOU WANT ME, YOU'RE GOING 68 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:32,920 TO HAVE TO PUT IN A 69 00:02:32,959 --> 00:02:35,419 LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT. 70 00:02:35,458 --> 00:02:38,378 GIVE ME THIS. 71 00:02:38,417 --> 00:02:43,667 CALL ME TOMORROW, AND YOU 72 00:02:38,417 --> 00:02:43,667 CAN ASK ME TO DINNER. 73 00:02:43,709 --> 00:02:46,169 -DINNER? 74 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:49,418 I'VE GOT A LEFTOVER BURRITO 75 00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:49,418 IN MY ROOM. 76 00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:50,748 -ALL RIGHT, LET'S THINK 77 00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:50,748 ABOUT THIS. 78 00:02:50,792 --> 00:02:52,922 A COACH SENDS A PLAYER A 79 00:02:50,792 --> 00:02:52,922 PICTURE OF HIS DICK. 80 00:02:52,959 --> 00:02:54,709 WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 81 00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:56,420 GOOD JOB. 82 00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:57,628 -PRACTICE HARDER? 83 00:02:57,667 --> 00:02:59,207 -IT'S A DICK PIC. 84 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:00,710 HE WANTS TO BANG YOU. 85 00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:03,330 DUH. 86 00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,125 -HEY, EVERYTHING 87 00:03:03,375 --> 00:03:05,125 ALL RIGHT MAN? 88 00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:07,876 -I JUST GOT TURNED DOWN BY 89 00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:07,876 THE HOTTEST GIRL HERE. 90 00:03:07,917 --> 00:03:09,827 -DID YOU TELL HER YOU WERE 91 00:03:07,917 --> 00:03:09,827 THE STARTING QB? 92 00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:11,205 -YEAH, OF COURSE. 93 00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:14,460 THEN SHE ASKED ME TO PUT 94 00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:14,460 A LITTLE EFFORT. 95 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:15,420 -RIGHT? 96 00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:16,788 -SEND HER A DICK PIC. 97 00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:18,384 -YEAH, SHE JUST ASKED ME TO 98 00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:18,384 INVITE HER TO DINNER. 99 00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:20,247 I THINK TAKING A PICTURE 100 00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:20,247 OF MY PENIS IS 101 00:03:20,291 --> 00:03:21,751 HARDLY THE BEST RESPONSE. 102 00:03:21,792 --> 00:03:24,832 HARMON, BEFORE YOU GOT THAT DICK 103 00:03:21,792 --> 00:03:24,832 PIC, HOW MUCH OF YOUR DAY 104 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:27,165 WAS SPENT THINKING ABOUT 105 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:27,165 COACH IN A SEXUAL WAY? 106 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:28,918 -1%, TOPS. 107 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,419 -NOW? 108 00:03:30,458 --> 00:03:31,628 -HE'S THE ONLY PERSON I'VE 109 00:03:30,458 --> 00:03:31,628 THOUGHT ABOUT SEXUALLY IN THE 110 00:03:31,667 --> 00:03:32,577 LAST EIGHT HOURS. 111 00:03:32,625 --> 00:03:33,495 -SEE? 112 00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:35,212 -NO, NO, MORAN'S RIGHT. 113 00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,130 DICK PICS DON'T WORK. 114 00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:37,326 -THANK YOU. 115 00:03:37,375 --> 00:03:39,245 -IF IT'S NOT WORKING, 116 00:03:37,375 --> 00:03:39,245 IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE 117 00:03:39,291 --> 00:03:41,001 NOT DOING THEM RIGHT. 118 00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:44,211 THE MAIN THING TO CONSIDER WHEN 119 00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:44,211 TAKING A DICK PIC IS WHAT 120 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,630 DO I WANT MY PENIS TO SAY? 121 00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:51,747 AM I PORTRAYING STRENGTH, 122 00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:51,747 SENSITIVITY, INTELLIGENCE? 123 00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:53,792 FIRST, LET ME SHOW YOU THE 124 00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:53,792 WRONG WAY TO DO IT. 125 00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:03,828 -OH, AH, THAT'S DESPERATE 126 00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:03,828 AND SAD. 127 00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:06,205 -YEAH, VERY FAVREISH. 128 00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,420 -THAT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T TRY. 129 00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:11,328 THE KEY IS EFFORT, GENTLEMEN. 130 00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:13,955 ME, I'D LIKE TO THINK ABOUT 131 00:04:11,375 --> 00:04:13,955 THE GIRL A LITTLE BEFORE 132 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,040 TAKING THE SHOT. 133 00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:16,793 THAT WAY SHE CAN SENSE 134 00:04:15,083 --> 00:04:16,793 IT'S FOR HER. 135 00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:19,254 PLUS IT GETS ME A 136 00:04:16,834 --> 00:04:19,254 LITTLE FLUFFY. 137 00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:23,041 AND SINCE YOUR HAND IS GOING TO 138 00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:23,041 BE IN THE SHOT, YOU WANT TO 139 00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:24,753 SPRUCE IT UP A BIT. 140 00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:31,384 CHICK WITH BIG CANS IN THE 141 00:04:28,834 --> 00:04:31,384 QUAD THIS MORNING. 142 00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:40,539 -OH, HO. 143 00:04:40,583 --> 00:04:42,503 -YEAH, COACH'S LOOKED 144 00:04:40,583 --> 00:04:42,503 ABOUT THAT GOOD. 145 00:04:42,542 --> 00:04:44,542 -THAT'S BECAUSE HE WAS THINKING 146 00:04:42,542 --> 00:04:44,542 ABOUT YOU WHEN HE 147 00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:47,833 TOOK IT, HARMON, AND HE FOLLOWED 148 00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:47,833 THE THREE RULES. 149 00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:50,995 ONE, NO BALLS, 150 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:55,381 TWO, NO MASS 151 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:55,381 TEXTING, AND THREE, 152 00:04:55,417 --> 00:04:57,827 NEVER SHOW YOUR FACE. 153 00:04:57,875 --> 00:04:58,995 [LAUGHING] 154 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:02,381 -OH, OK, WITH ALL DUE 155 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:02,381 RESPECT I COULDN'T 156 00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:03,997 DISAGREE WITH YOU MORE. 157 00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:07,501 EVERY MORNING I TAKE A PICTURE 158 00:05:04,041 --> 00:05:07,501 OF MY DICK, INCLUDING MY FACE 159 00:05:07,542 --> 00:05:10,462 AND BALLS, AND I SEND IT TO 160 00:05:07,542 --> 00:05:10,462 EVERYONE ON MY PHONE. 161 00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:11,920 -YEAH, WE KNOW. 162 00:05:11,959 --> 00:05:12,959 -HAS IT WORKED? 163 00:05:13,041 --> 00:05:15,211 -NOT YET, BUT ONE DAY IT WILL. 164 00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:18,670 AND WHEN IT DOES, WHOOO WHEE. 165 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,709 IT WILL BE MAGIC. 166 00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,750 -YOU KNOW, I'M JUST GOING TO 167 00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:22,750 TAKE THIS GIRL TO DINNER, GUYS. 168 00:05:22,792 --> 00:05:24,582 -DON'T DO IT, MORAN. 169 00:05:22,792 --> 00:05:24,582 -YEAH. 170 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,165 -DICK PICS WORK. 171 00:05:26,208 --> 00:05:27,288 -YEAH, GOOD TALK. 172 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,213 -I'M GOING TO PROVE 173 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,213 IT TO YOU, MORAN. 174 00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:32,330 -NO, PROVE IT TO US. 175 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,785 I NEED TO GET LAID. 176 00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:15,037 -GOOD MORNING, SAMMY, 177 00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:15,037 AND ANOTHER PICTURE 178 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,333 OF YOUR DICK, FANTASTIC. 179 00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:23,747 OH, SHIT. 180 00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:28,174 DID YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR 181 00:06:24,834 --> 00:06:28,174 DICK ON MY PHONE AND SEND IT 182 00:06:28,208 --> 00:06:30,788 TO THE GIRL WHO TURNED 183 00:06:28,208 --> 00:06:30,788 ME DOWN LAST NIGHT? 184 00:06:30,834 --> 00:06:31,884 -YOU CAN PAY ME LATER. 185 00:06:31,917 --> 00:06:32,787 -OH, MY GOD. 186 00:06:32,834 --> 00:06:34,174 YOU RUINED MY CHANCES. 187 00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,828 NOW I'LL NEVER GET 188 00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:35,828 A SHOT WITH HER. 189 00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:37,375 -ALEX? 190 00:06:37,417 --> 00:06:40,167 -OH, I, I, I AM, I AM REALLY, 191 00:06:37,417 --> 00:06:40,167 REALLY SORRY, ALL RIGHT? 192 00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:41,208 I CAN EXPLAIN. 193 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:43,170 IT WASN'T MY-- 194 00:06:43,208 --> 00:06:44,498 [KISSING] 195 00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:46,882 -NOBODY'S EVER SENT ME A PICTURE 196 00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:46,882 LIKE THAT BEFORE. 197 00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:53,077 IT WAS SO DIRECT, 198 00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:53,077 SO MUCH EFFORT. 199 00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,535 YOU REALLY WERE LISTENING 200 00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,535 TO ME LAST NIGHT. 201 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:58,753 -REALLY, BECAUSE I HAVE 202 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:58,753 TO BE HONEST-- 203 00:06:58,792 --> 00:07:01,582 [KISSING] 204 00:07:01,625 --> 00:07:03,915 -I'M SORRY, YOU WERE 205 00:07:01,625 --> 00:07:03,915 SAYING SOMETHING? 206 00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:08,329 -I WAS SAYING THAT I'M, I'M 207 00:07:03,959 --> 00:07:08,329 REALLY GLAD THAT YOU LIKE THE 208 00:07:08,375 --> 00:07:09,625 PICTURE I SENT YOU. 209 00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:14,917 -YOU'RE WELCOME. 210 00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:21,213 -SO WHAT HAPPENED? 211 00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:22,420 -WE MADE OUT A LITTLE. 212 00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:24,458 SHE TOOK ME UPSTAIRS AND 213 00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:24,458 HAD HER WAY WITH ME. 214 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:25,880 -ALL BECAUSE OF A DICK PIC? 215 00:07:25,917 --> 00:07:27,497 -YEAH, IT WAS GREAT. 216 00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:29,712 I HAD TO BREAK IT OFF 217 00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:29,712 WITH HER, THOUGH. 218 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,750 I CAN'T DATE A GIRL WHO WOULD 219 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,750 SLEEP WITH ME BECAUSE OF A 220 00:07:31,792 --> 00:07:32,632 DICK PIC. 221 00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:33,747 -ARE YOU CRAZY? 222 00:07:33,792 --> 00:07:35,132 SHE SOUNDS PERFECT. 223 00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:36,666 I MEAN, I'VE GOTTEN ZERO 224 00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:36,666 RESPONSE FROM THE PIC I SENT 225 00:07:36,709 --> 00:07:37,539 OUT THIS MORNING. 226 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:39,133 -WHAT? 227 00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:41,286 -I USUALLY GET LIKE ONE DEATH 228 00:07:39,166 --> 00:07:41,286 THREAT OR SOMETHING, YOU KNOW? 229 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:51,037 -NICE DICK. 230 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:55,133 -HERE ARE YOUR DICKS-- 231 00:07:51,083 --> 00:07:55,133 OH, I MEAN PANCAKES. 232 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:58,126 -WHAT'S GOING ON? 233 00:07:58,166 --> 00:07:59,576 -OH, MY-- 234 00:07:59,625 --> 00:08:00,575 WHOA! 235 00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:03,495 NICE DICK. 236 00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:04,922 -OH, MY GOD. 237 00:08:04,959 --> 00:08:06,079 THAT-- 238 00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:07,745 DID SHE MASS TEXT 239 00:08:06,125 --> 00:08:07,745 THAT PICTURE? 240 00:08:07,792 --> 00:08:09,882 -YOU MUST HAVE REALLY 241 00:08:07,792 --> 00:08:09,882 PISSED HER OFF. 242 00:08:09,917 --> 00:08:10,747 -SHIT. 243 00:08:10,792 --> 00:08:13,712 OH, SHIT, I'VE GOTTA GO. 244 00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:16,170 -GIRL AFTER MY OWN HEART. 245 00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:19,078 -FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE HOUR, 246 00:08:16,208 --> 00:08:19,078 73 DEGREES AND SUNNY. 247 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:21,875 AND WE'LL BE BACK WITH A LITTLE 248 00:08:19,125 --> 00:08:21,875 MORE ON ALEX MORAN'S 249 00:08:21,917 --> 00:08:24,747 DICK PIC AFTER THIS. 250 00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:27,712 -I AM AMAZED AT HOW MUCH TIME 251 00:08:24,792 --> 00:08:27,712 AND MONEY I'VE SAVED WITH THIS 252 00:08:27,750 --> 00:08:29,170 WHOLE DICK PIC STUFF. 253 00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,248 WE MAY NEVER HAVE TO TAKE A 254 00:08:29,208 --> 00:08:31,248 GIRL OUT FOR DINNER AGAIN. 255 00:08:31,291 --> 00:08:33,251 -THAD IS A GENIUS. 256 00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:36,751 THAT'S ALL I GOTTA SAY, 257 00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:36,751 A GODDAMN GENIUS. 258 00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:40,712 AH, THERE HE IS, THE MAN WITH 259 00:08:36,792 --> 00:08:40,712 THE BEAUTIFUL PENIS. 260 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,710 -THEY'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT 261 00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,710 ON THE RADIO ALL MORNING. 262 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:43,710 CONGRATS. 263 00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:44,880 -IT'S NOT MY DICK. 264 00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:46,247 IT'S THAD'S. 265 00:08:46,291 --> 00:08:48,921 -OH, YEAH, YEAH, RIGHT. 266 00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:51,959 I TOOK A PICTURE OF MY DICK ON 267 00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:51,959 YOUR PHONE AND SENT IT TO THE 268 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:54,170 GIRL YOU WANT TO BANG. 269 00:08:54,208 --> 00:08:55,458 YEAH, IT REALLY HAPPENED. 270 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,500 -WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 271 00:08:58,542 --> 00:09:00,292 -MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT, MORAN. 272 00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,753 YOU HAVE THE MOST FAMOUS 273 00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:02,753 KIELBASA ON CAMPUS. 274 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:03,962 -NO. 275 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,960 YOU HAVE THE MOST FAMOUS 276 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,960 KIELBASA ON CAMPUS. 277 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,250 YOU NEED TO TELL EVERYONE 278 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,250 THE TRUTH. 279 00:09:07,291 --> 00:09:09,671 IT'S HUMILIATING. 280 00:09:09,709 --> 00:09:12,379 -I GUESS TECHNICALLY 281 00:09:09,709 --> 00:09:12,379 YOU'RE RIGHT. 282 00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:13,957 -YEAH. 283 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,290 -BUT I WOULD NEVER STEAL THAT 284 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,290 KIND OF GLORY FROM A TEAMMATE. 285 00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:20,293 SO MY KIELBASA IS 286 00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:20,293 YOUR KIELBASA. 287 00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:28,753 -WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 288 00:09:28,792 --> 00:09:30,542 -I FOUND YOUR PICTURE 289 00:09:28,792 --> 00:09:30,542 ON YOU PHONE, MARTY. 290 00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:33,333 WHAT, I SEND YOU PICTURES OF 291 00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:33,333 MY TITS AND YOU RETURN THE 292 00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:35,575 FAVOR BY SENDING SOME WHORE 293 00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:35,575 A PICTURE OF YOUR DICK? 294 00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:36,875 -WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 295 00:09:36,917 --> 00:09:38,577 I SENT THIS PICTURE TO YOU. 296 00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:39,575 YOU DIDN'T GET IT? 297 00:09:39,625 --> 00:09:40,825 -YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME. 298 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,705 GOD, I CANNOT BELIEVE 299 00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,705 I TRUSTED YOU AGAIN. 300 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:44,580 -I SWEAR. 301 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:45,665 I AM NOT CHEATING ON YOU. 302 00:09:45,709 --> 00:09:46,629 I'M A SAINT. 303 00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:47,787 I, I'M A CHANGED MAN. 304 00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:48,834 -BULLSHIT. 305 00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:51,165 YOUR LITTLE WHORE 306 00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:51,165 LIKES DICK PICS? 307 00:09:51,208 --> 00:09:52,208 HUH? 308 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,130 YEAH? 309 00:09:53,166 --> 00:09:54,076 LET'S SEE HOW SHE LIKES THIS. 310 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,130 -THANKS FOR TUNING IN TO THE 311 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,130 CRAZY NICK AND LARD ASS SHOW 312 00:10:01,166 --> 00:10:03,166 HERE ON THE COLLEGE 313 00:10:01,166 --> 00:10:03,166 ATHLETIC NETWORK. 314 00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:04,918 LOTS TO TALK ABOUT THIS WEEK. 315 00:10:04,959 --> 00:10:07,789 -WE'RE GOING TO START BY TALKING 316 00:10:04,959 --> 00:10:07,789 ABOUT TODAY'S IDIOT OF 317 00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:11,084 THE DAY, MR. ALEX MORAN, 318 00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:11,084 STARTING QUARTERBACK AND 319 00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:14,125 ACTING CAPTAIN OF BLUE MOUNTAIN 320 00:10:11,125 --> 00:10:14,125 STATE, FOR MASS 321 00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:19,626 TEXTING A PICTURE OF HIS PENIS 322 00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:19,626 FOR HIS ENTIRE CAMPUS TO SEE. 323 00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:22,957 -IF HE WORKED HALF AS HARD ON 324 00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:22,957 HIS GAME AS HE DID ON THAT 325 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,710 PICTURE, THEN THE GOATS 326 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,710 MIGHT ACTUALLY 327 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,250 HAVE A SHOT THIS YEAR. 328 00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:28,501 -WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, NICK, I 329 00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:28,501 SAW THAT PICTURE, AND LET ME 330 00:10:28,542 --> 00:10:29,542 TELL YOU SOMETHING. 331 00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:33,083 THAT WAS A BEAUTIFULLY 332 00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:33,083 SHOT PENIS. 333 00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:34,955 [LAUGHTER] 334 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,420 -MOST HYSTERICAL. 335 00:10:37,458 --> 00:10:39,538 -CAN WE TURN THIS OFF, PLEASE? 336 00:10:39,583 --> 00:10:40,833 -NO. 337 00:10:44,917 --> 00:10:47,127 -IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU THAT HE'S 338 00:10:44,917 --> 00:10:47,127 GETTING ALL THE ATTENTION 339 00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:48,076 FOR YOUR PIC? 340 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:50,075 -WHO SAID IT WAS MY PIC? 341 00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:51,875 -DUDE, WE'VE BEEN SHOWERING 342 00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:51,875 TOGETHER FOR, 343 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,287 WHAT, THREE YEARS NOW? 344 00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,333 I'M JUST SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD 345 00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,333 BE BETTING ATTENTION 346 00:10:55,375 --> 00:10:56,625 AND NOT MORAN. 347 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:10,879 -HEY, GUYS, SOME CHICK JUST SENT 348 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:10,879 ME A PICTURE OF HER VA-- 349 00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:20,668 OH, MY GOD. 350 00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:26,495 -ALL RIGHT. 351 00:11:26,542 --> 00:11:28,042 LET'S THINK ABOUT THIS. 352 00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:30,753 COACH SENDS A PLAYER A 353 00:11:28,083 --> 00:11:30,753 PICTURE OF HIS DICK. 354 00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:35,422 THEN HIS WIFE SENDS THE SAME 355 00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:35,422 PLAYER A PICTURE OF HER MUFF. 356 00:11:35,458 --> 00:11:37,328 WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 357 00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,745 -WELL, I WOULD ASSUME IT MEANS 358 00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,745 THEY WANT TO HAVE A THREESOME. 359 00:11:39,792 --> 00:11:41,632 -DEFINITELY. 360 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,827 -WELL, HOW DO I HANDLE THIS? 361 00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:44,915 -DEPENDS. 362 00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:47,629 IF YOU'RE INTO THIS SEND 363 00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:47,629 A DICK PIC BACK. 364 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,827 -I'M GOING TO HAVE TO 365 00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,827 SLEEP ON THIS ONE. 366 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:58,540 -MORAN? 367 00:11:58,583 --> 00:11:59,463 WE NEED TO TALK. 368 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,790 -NO, WE DON'T. 369 00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:03,084 I AM THE JOKE OF THE WHOLE 370 00:12:00,834 --> 00:12:03,084 SCHOOL BECAUSE OF YOU. 371 00:12:03,125 --> 00:12:05,705 -I KNOW, AND I'M SORRY. 372 00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:07,330 I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT. 373 00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:09,745 PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW THE TRUTH. 374 00:12:09,792 --> 00:12:13,752 -THANKS, MAN, I, I 375 00:12:09,792 --> 00:12:13,752 APPRECIATE THAT. 376 00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:16,292 YOU KNOW YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO 377 00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:16,292 HELP ME, AND YOU'RE A GOOD 378 00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:19,923 FRIEND SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW? 379 00:12:19,959 --> 00:12:22,749 -I AM, AREN'T I? 380 00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:24,792 -WELCOME BACK TO THE CRAZY 381 00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:24,792 NICK AND LARD ASS 382 00:12:24,834 --> 00:12:26,584 SHOW HERE ON CAN. 383 00:12:26,625 --> 00:12:30,745 WE HAVE BLUE MOUNTAIN STATE 384 00:12:26,625 --> 00:12:30,745 LINEBACKER THAD CASTLE, AND 385 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:34,332 THE DICK PIC MAN HIMSELF, 386 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:34,332 QUARTERBACK ALEX MORAN HERE 387 00:12:34,375 --> 00:12:36,535 WITH US LIVE VIA SATELLITE. 388 00:12:36,583 --> 00:12:38,083 HOW'S IT GOING, GUYS? 389 00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,165 -IT'S A GREAT DAY. 390 00:12:39,208 --> 00:12:40,828 THANK YOU FOR ASKING. 391 00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:43,245 -NOW, THAD, I UNDERSTAND 392 00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:43,245 YOU HAVE A PREPARED 393 00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:43,245 STATEMENT TO READ? 394 00:12:43,291 --> 00:12:44,831 -YES, LARD ASS, THANK 395 00:12:43,291 --> 00:12:44,831 YOU. 396 00:12:44,875 --> 00:12:47,955 -BY ALL MEANS GO AHEAD. 397 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,460 -I'D LIKE TO CLARIFY THE 398 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,460 CONTROVERSY SURROUNDING A 399 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,080 CERTAIN PICTURE YOU'VE ALL 400 00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:53,080 BEEN TALKING ABOUT. 401 00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:56,205 THE GORGEOUS PENIS IN THAT 402 00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:56,205 PICTURE TAKEN AND SENT FROM 403 00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:59,420 ALEX MORAN'S PHONE IS NOT 404 00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:59,420 ALEX MORAN'S PENIS. 405 00:12:59,458 --> 00:13:00,378 IT'S MINE. 406 00:13:00,417 --> 00:13:01,957 -REALLY? 407 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,750 -SO IF YOU GUYS WANT TO NAME 408 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,750 SOMEBODY IDIOT OF THE DAY IT 409 00:13:04,792 --> 00:13:06,832 SHOULD BE ME, NOT MORAN. 410 00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:09,325 MORAN WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE 411 00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:09,325 A DICK PIC IF IT BIT HIM 412 00:13:09,375 --> 00:13:10,535 IN THE ASS. 413 00:13:10,583 --> 00:13:11,383 THANK YOU. 414 00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:12,627 -HOLD ON. 415 00:13:11,417 --> 00:13:12,627 HOLD ON. 416 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:13,787 THEN HOW DID YOUR PENIS 417 00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:13,787 GET ON MORAN'S PHONE? 418 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,174 -WELL, I-- 419 00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:16,538 -YEAH, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG 420 00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:16,538 WITH MORAN'S PENIS? 421 00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:17,963 -NO. 422 00:13:16,583 --> 00:13:17,963 NO, I JUST-- 423 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,630 -WHAT, DOES THE WHOLE TEAM JUST 424 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,630 TAKE PICTURES OF OTHER 425 00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:21,577 PEOPLE'S PENISES AND SEND 426 00:13:19,667 --> 00:13:21,577 THEM OUT TO EVERYONE? 427 00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:23,205 -OK, THERE'S A PERFECTLY 428 00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:23,205 GOOD EXPLANATION FOR ALL 429 00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:23,205 THIS. HE, HE-- 430 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:25,420 -I'M SURE THERE IS, 431 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:25,420 BUT UNFORTUNATELY 432 00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:25,420 WE'RE OUT OF 433 00:13:25,458 --> 00:13:28,208 TIME, AND I'M SURE YOU GUYS HAVE 434 00:13:25,458 --> 00:13:28,208 A VERY BUSY DAY TAKING 435 00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:29,290 PICTURES OF YOUR WEENIES. 436 00:13:29,333 --> 00:13:30,833 -WHAT? 437 00:13:29,333 --> 00:13:30,833 NO, NO. 438 00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:33,455 -THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY THE 439 00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:33,455 CRAZY NICK AND LARD ASS SHOW 440 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:34,580 HERE ON CAN. 441 00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:36,915 -NO, NO, NO, NO WAIT, 442 00:13:34,625 --> 00:13:36,915 WAIT, WAIT GUYS! 443 00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:38,209 GUYS. 444 00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:42,917 -I THINK THAT WENT 445 00:13:41,667 --> 00:13:42,917 PRETTY WELL. 446 00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:48,960 -ALEX MORAN, I HEARD HE DOESN'T 447 00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:48,960 EVEN HAVE A DICK. 448 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,710 HE'S LIKE ALL SMOOTH DOWN 449 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,710 THERE LIKE A KEN DOLL. 450 00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:55,040 WELL, YEAH, I SLEPT WITH HIM, 451 00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:55,040 BUT FOR ALL I KNOW HE COULD 452 00:13:55,083 --> 00:13:56,333 HAVE BEEN USING A DILDO. 453 00:13:56,375 --> 00:13:58,285 -OH MY GOD, THERE HE IS. 454 00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:01,713 -HEY, KEN, HOW'S 455 00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:01,713 YOUR FAKE DICK? 456 00:14:05,291 --> 00:14:06,541 WHAT A LOSER. 457 00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:15,920 -HEAR YE, HEAR YE, IF A FOOTBALL 458 00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:15,920 SENDS YOU A PICTURE 459 00:14:15,959 --> 00:14:18,829 OF HIS PENIS, IT'S PROBABLY 460 00:14:15,959 --> 00:14:18,829 NOT EVEN HIS. 461 00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:21,245 FOOTBALL PLAYERS ARE 462 00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:21,245 DICKLESS LIARS. 463 00:14:21,291 --> 00:14:23,461 PASS IT ON. 464 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,880 -YOU'RE A DICKLESS LIAR. 465 00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:38,331 CAN I GET YOU GUYS 466 00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:38,331 ANYTHING ELSE? 467 00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:39,285 -OH, NO THANK YOU. 468 00:14:39,333 --> 00:14:40,173 -OK. 469 00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:42,578 I'LL GET YOUR CHECK THEN. 470 00:14:42,625 --> 00:14:44,125 -YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY? 471 00:14:44,166 --> 00:14:45,826 -WHOSE DICK IS THAT? 472 00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:47,375 WHOA, THAT'S AN ANGRY-LOOKING 473 00:14:45,875 --> 00:14:47,375 FELLOW. 474 00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:49,247 -HEY, YOU DON'T ASK 475 00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:49,247 THE QUESTIONS. 476 00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:51,541 I ASK THE QUESTIONS OK? 477 00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,883 WHO IS THIS GUY AND HOW 478 00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,883 LONG HAVE YOU BEEN 479 00:14:51,583 --> 00:14:53,883 SLEEPING WITH HIM? 480 00:14:53,917 --> 00:14:56,667 -NO, NO, NO, NO, I 481 00:14:53,917 --> 00:14:56,667 AM NOT PLAYING 482 00:14:53,917 --> 00:14:56,667 THIS GAME WITH 483 00:14:53,917 --> 00:14:56,667 YOU, MARTY. 484 00:14:56,709 --> 00:14:58,579 -YOU THINK I'M CHEATING 485 00:14:56,709 --> 00:14:58,579 ON YOU AND YOU'RE GOING 486 00:14:56,709 --> 00:14:58,579 TO RETURN THE 487 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,245 FAVOR, HUH? 488 00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:01,541 WHO IS IT? 489 00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:03,463 -YOU'RE BEING A REAL ASSHOLE 490 00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:03,463 RIGHT NOW, MARTY. 491 00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,880 -ASSHOLE? 492 00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:04,880 -YES. 493 00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:06,287 -I'M BEING AN ASSHOLE? 494 00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:06,287 -YES, YOU'RE BEING AN ASSHOLE. 495 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:07,673 -I'LL SHOW YOU AN ASSHOLE. 496 00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:10,329 WATCH THIS. 497 00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:13,375 -IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS? 498 00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:15,667 -IF YOU THINK IT'S A 499 00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:15,667 PICTURE OF COACH'S 500 00:15:15,709 --> 00:15:19,249 ASSHOLE, THEN YES, IT IS. 501 00:15:19,291 --> 00:15:21,711 -MAYBE HE'S MAD AT YOU? 502 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:24,460 MAYBE HE DIDN'T LIKE 503 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:24,460 YOUR DICK PIC? 504 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,500 -I'VE NEVER BEEN SO CONFUSED 505 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:27,500 IN ALL MY LIFE. 506 00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:30,132 THESE GODDAMN DICK 507 00:15:27,542 --> 00:15:30,132 PICS ARE TURNING 508 00:15:30,166 --> 00:15:33,036 EVERYTHING UPSIDE DOWN. 509 00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:36,383 SOMEONE'S GOTTA DO SOMETHING. 510 00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,537 SOMEONE'S GOT TO STEP UP AND 511 00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:39,537 MAKE THINGS RIGHT AGAIN. 512 00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:14,582 -BLUE SIXTEEN! 513 00:16:11,542 --> 00:16:14,582 BLUE SIXTEEN! 514 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,035 HUT! 515 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,035 HUT! 516 00:16:20,333 --> 00:16:22,043 [WHISTLE BLOWN] 517 00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:23,333 HUDDLE UP. 518 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,541 YOU GUYS LOOK LIKE 519 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,541 SHIT OUT THERE. 520 00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:28,543 WHAT'S GOING ON? 521 00:16:28,583 --> 00:16:29,423 WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 522 00:16:29,458 --> 00:16:31,128 -SORRY COACH. 523 00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:33,626 WE'RE HAVING PERSONAL ISSUES. 524 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,497 MORAN SENT THIS DICK 525 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,497 PIC OUT AND-- 526 00:16:35,542 --> 00:16:37,542 -YOU SENT THE DICK PIC. 527 00:16:35,542 --> 00:16:37,542 -SHUT UP. 528 00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:39,293 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ONE MORE 529 00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:39,293 THING ABOUT DICK PICS. 530 00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:42,253 IF I HEAR ONE-- 531 00:16:42,291 --> 00:16:43,461 WHEN DID IT GET SO COMPLICATED? 532 00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,040 HUH? 533 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:48,713 I'VE BEEN SENDING PICTURES IN MY 534 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:48,713 PENIS TO WOMEN ALL MY LIFE. 535 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:49,960 YEAH. 536 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:54,250 IN THE '80S I MAILED POLAROIDS, 537 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:54,250 AND IT SUCKED, 538 00:16:54,291 --> 00:16:55,331 BECAUSE LET'S SAY YOU 539 00:16:54,291 --> 00:16:55,331 WERE PLAYING IN 540 00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:57,285 DETROIT ON SATURDAY NIGHT. 541 00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:00,173 YOU HAD TO GET THAT PICTURE IN 542 00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:00,173 THE MAIL ON MONDAY OR IT 543 00:17:00,208 --> 00:17:02,538 WOULDN'T GET THERE ON TIME. 544 00:17:02,583 --> 00:17:07,083 THEN IN THE '90S, THE FAX 545 00:17:02,583 --> 00:17:07,083 MACHINE, THAT CHANGED THE 546 00:17:07,125 --> 00:17:08,875 WHOLE GAME. 547 00:17:08,917 --> 00:17:11,457 AND NOW THE CELL PHONES. 548 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:12,670 COME ON, GUYS. 549 00:17:12,709 --> 00:17:14,749 ENOUGH WITH THE DICK PICS. 550 00:17:14,792 --> 00:17:17,832 LET'S GET BACK TO DOING THINGS 551 00:17:14,792 --> 00:17:17,832 THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. 552 00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:22,325 IF YOU LIKE A GIRL, TAKE HER OUT 553 00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:22,325 TO DINNER, BUY HER A BOX 554 00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:28,165 OF CHOCOLATES, WEAR A BOW TIE. 555 00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:32,288 I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO, 556 00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:32,288 BUT NO MORE DICK PICS. 557 00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:35,833 LET'S GET BACK TO WORK. 558 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:37,245 -IDIOT. 559 00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:39,671 -YOU'RE THE IDIOT. 560 00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:41,079 -FREAK. 561 00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:42,455 -I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, 562 00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:42,455 BUT I CAN'T GO BACK TO 563 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,080 PRE-DICK PIC ERA. 564 00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:46,995 EVERY TIME I SEND A DICK PIC 565 00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:46,995 NOW IT'S MET WITH QUESTIONS 566 00:17:47,041 --> 00:17:48,461 AND SKEPTICISM. 567 00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,080 THEY THINK WE'RE ALL LIARS. 568 00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:51,575 -THIS IS ALL MORAN'S FAULT. 569 00:17:51,625 --> 00:17:53,165 -WHAT? 570 00:17:53,208 --> 00:17:54,538 -IF YOU'D SENT A DICK PIC OUT 571 00:17:53,208 --> 00:17:54,538 LIKE A MAN IN THE FIRST PLACE, 572 00:17:54,583 --> 00:17:56,463 I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO SEND 573 00:17:54,583 --> 00:17:56,463 A PICTURE OUT FOR YOU. 574 00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:57,420 -ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 575 00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:58,328 I, IT-- 576 00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:01,415 [WHISTLE] 577 00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:03,788 -YOU WANT TO CLEAR UP WHOSE 578 00:18:01,458 --> 00:18:03,788 DICKS ARE WHOSE AND GOT A DICK 579 00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,964 AND WHO DOESN'T HAVE A DICK, 580 00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,964 YOU ALL NEED TO SEND OUT A 581 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,540 REAL HONEST DICK PIC. 582 00:18:07,583 --> 00:18:11,673 I'M TALKING DICK, I'M TALKING 583 00:18:07,583 --> 00:18:11,673 BALLS, AND I'M TALKING FACE, 584 00:18:11,709 --> 00:18:13,079 ALL IN ONE SHOT. 585 00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:15,875 THEN YOU'RE GOING TO MASS TEXT 586 00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:15,875 IT TO THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. 587 00:18:15,917 --> 00:18:17,537 -I'M NOT PUTTING A PICTURE 588 00:18:15,917 --> 00:18:17,537 OF MY DICK OUT IN 589 00:18:17,583 --> 00:18:18,543 THE WORLD, ALL RIGHT? 590 00:18:18,583 --> 00:18:21,043 THERE'S GOT TO BE 591 00:18:18,583 --> 00:18:21,043 A BETTER WAY. 592 00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:23,923 -I'M LOOKING FOR SAMMY 593 00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:23,923 CACCIATORE. 594 00:18:23,959 --> 00:18:25,209 -HELLO, I'M SAMMY. 595 00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:35,499 -I'VE BEEN GETTING YOUR DICK 596 00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:35,499 PICS EVERY MORNING FOR THE 597 00:18:35,542 --> 00:18:37,042 LAST TWO YEARS. 598 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,173 I MEAN, INITIALLY I THREATENED 599 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,173 TO CALL THE COPS, BUT THEN I 600 00:18:39,208 --> 00:18:42,828 REALIZED YOU'RE THE ONLY GUY 601 00:18:39,208 --> 00:18:42,828 LEFT ON CAMPUS THAT I CAN TRUST. 602 00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:49,075 YOU KNOW, YOU ALL CAN 603 00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:49,075 LEARN A LOT FROM THIS GUY. 604 00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:51,375 -WHEE. 605 00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:51,375 I TOLD YOU GUYS THIS WAS 606 00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:51,375 GOING TO PAY OFF. 607 00:18:51,417 --> 00:18:52,827 YEAH. 608 00:18:54,417 --> 00:18:57,327 -SHIT. 609 00:18:57,375 --> 00:18:59,415 -WHAT, ARE YOU CRAZY? 610 00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:01,288 -TELL ME HER NAME. 611 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,713 -ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU HER 612 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:03,713 NAME WHEN YOU TELL ME WHOSE 613 00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:04,790 DICK IS IN MY PHONE. 614 00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:07,794 -A HA, YOU ARE BANGING 615 00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:07,794 SOMEONE ELSE. 616 00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:08,794 -YEAH, YOU'D LIKE TO 617 00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:08,794 THINK SO SO YOU 618 00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:09,924 WOULDN'T FEEL SO GUILTY. 619 00:19:09,959 --> 00:19:10,789 OW. 620 00:19:10,834 --> 00:19:15,504 [DOORBELL RINGS] 621 00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:17,002 -WHAT'S THIS? 622 00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:20,581 -COACH, I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID 623 00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:20,581 AT PRACTICE, AND I GET IT. 624 00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:22,665 WE'RE GOING TO DO THINGS 625 00:19:20,625 --> 00:19:22,665 THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. 626 00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:26,459 SO HERE IT GOES. 627 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,420 I GOT YOU PICS, AND 628 00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,420 I AM INTO IT. 629 00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:41,460 -I WANT TO ASK YOU A FAVOR, 630 00:19:39,250 --> 00:19:41,460 HARMON, AND I HOPE YOU 631 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,580 UNDERSTAND. 632 00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:44,075 -SURE. 633 00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:47,285 -I WANT YOU TO ERASE THOSE 634 00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:47,285 PICTURES, ESPECIALLY ANY ONES 635 00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:50,423 OF ME OR DEBRA THAT ARE 636 00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:50,423 EASILY IDENTIFIABLE. 637 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,880 -THAT WOULD BE ALL 638 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,880 OF THEM COACH. 639 00:20:05,750 --> 00:20:08,210 -WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 640 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:16,167 -WELL, IT'S NOT PRETTY, BUT 641 00:20:12,667 --> 00:20:16,167 IT SOLVED THE PROBLEM. 642 00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,791 -MAYBE THIS WHOLE DICK 643 00:20:21,041 --> 00:20:23,791 PIC ERA ISN'T OVER. 644 00:20:23,834 --> 00:20:28,754 MAYBE IT'S JUST EVOLVING 645 00:20:23,834 --> 00:20:28,754 INTO THE NEXT PHASE. 646 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:31,882 -SAY, COACH, IF YOU AND DEBRA 647 00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:31,882 EVER CHANGE YOUR MINDS-- 648 00:20:31,917 --> 00:20:32,787 -GET OUT OF THE CAR, HARMON. 649 00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:36,044 -OK, YOU'VE GOT IT, COACH. 650 00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:39,503 -YEAH, YOU'VE GOT A HANDSOME 651 00:20:36,083 --> 00:20:39,503 WEE-WEE, MORAN. 652 00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:41,042 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU NEEDED 653 00:20:39,542 --> 00:20:41,042 ME TO SEND MINE 654 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:42,333 IN THE FIRST PLACE. 655 00:20:48,875 --> 00:20:51,705 ♪♪